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GOOMF Archive

Doc’s back on the road and Kenny’s at home as they yell about Roger Goodell secretly making the NFL’s preseason games count, Ichiro Suzuki making the Yanks lick his elbow,...0September 2, 2012

Roger Goodell Reveals That All Preseason Games Have Secretly Been Regular Season Games

Doc’s back on the road and Kenny’s at home as they yell about Roger Goodell secretly making the NFL’s preseason games count, Ichiro Suzuki making the Yanks lick his elbow,…

Tim Devannon and Kenny Kennedy are back in London to discuss Coach K’s new coxswain, China’s fake Britain, and rowers discovering the sail. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly...0August 12, 2012

Coach K Hires Coxswain To Keep USA Basketball Team Motivated And In Rhythm

Tim Devannon and Kenny Kennedy are back in London to discuss Coach K’s new coxswain, China’s fake Britain, and rowers discovering the sail. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly…

Kenny from GOOMF and Tim Devannon from the Steam Room are in London to discuss God’s new ark full of Olympians and the children whose heads will hold the apples...0August 11, 2012

God Tells IOC President To Build Ark, Gather 2 Olympians From Each Sport

Kenny from GOOMF and Tim Devannon from the Steam Room are in London to discuss God’s new ark full of Olympians and the children whose heads will hold the apples…

The GOOMFers gaze into the clouds to see Penn State begging victims to vandalize Paterno’s statue and call it quits and the British Open being overrun by a tribe of...0August 4, 2012

Penn State Offers Victims The Chance To Vandalize Joe Paterno’s Statue

The GOOMFers gaze into the clouds to see Penn State begging victims to vandalize Paterno’s statue and call it quits and the British Open being overrun by a tribe of…

In this week’s GOOMF, Doc and Kenny pick their own poison, downing lethal doses of Dale Jr.’s new losing streak, the Heat’s Chalmers-based offense, and Nike’s tracksuit that streamlines the...0July 2, 2012

Nike Releases New Olympic Track Suits Designed To Limit Penis Wind Resistance

In this week’s GOOMF, Doc and Kenny pick their own poison, downing lethal doses of Dale Jr.’s new losing streak, the Heat’s Chalmers-based offense, and Nike’s tracksuit that streamlines the…

Tim Tebow has fallen into sin, Tiger Woods is adequate again, and the Mets are questionable for opening day, but Doc Brooks and Kenny Kennedy still hate each other. It’s...0April 3, 2012

After 1 Week In New York Tim Tebow Already A Gay, Homeless Crack Addict

Tim Tebow has fallen into sin, Tiger Woods is adequate again, and the Mets are questionable for opening day, but Doc Brooks and Kenny Kennedy still hate each other. It’s…

It’s a joyous GOOMF as Doc and Kenny revel in the pain of the NCAA Tournament’s losers, the idiotic Redskins, and the ailing Jeremy Lin. Subscribe to The Onion on...0March 22, 2012

Nation Abuzz With Prospect Of 18-Year-Old Boys Having Their Dreams Crushed

It’s a joyous GOOMF as Doc and Kenny revel in the pain of the NCAA Tournament’s losers, the idiotic Redskins, and the ailing Jeremy Lin. Subscribe to The Onion on…

After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the Mariners. Subscribe to The Onion...0February 20, 2012

Knicks Trade Jeremy Lin For Selfish Asshole Who Plays Knicks-Style Basketball

After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the Mariners. Subscribe to The Onion…

Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It’s a special GOOMF Blast! Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com...0February 9, 2012

Eli Manning Asks Dad If He Can Stop Playing Football Now

Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It’s a special GOOMF Blast! Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com…

News is breaking all over Indy as the Giants reveal their plans to tackle Tom Brady, Belichick rallies the troops with genital mutilation, and Peyton Manning gets over the Colts...0February 8, 2012

Cocky Giants’ D Reveals Game Plan That They Will Try And Tackle Tom Brady

News is breaking all over Indy as the Giants reveal their plans to tackle Tom Brady, Belichick rallies the troops with genital mutilation, and Peyton Manning gets over the Colts…

Reggie tries not to agree with Doc as they discuss the soon-to-be Super Bowl losers, who the hell Marco Scutaro is, and Tom Coughlin’s impending death at the hands of...0February 1, 2012

Football Fans Excited To Watch Patriots Or Giants Lose Super Bowl

Reggie tries not to agree with Doc as they discuss the soon-to-be Super Bowl losers, who the hell Marco Scutaro is, and Tom Coughlin’s impending death at the hands of…

The forecast for this GOOMF is cloudy with a chance of a bragging Alex Smith, smiling Tom Coughlin, and lame-ass Bernie Williams.0January 18, 2012

Alex Smith Boasts 49ers Have What It Takes To Win Despite Him

The forecast for this GOOMF is cloudy with a chance of a bragging Alex Smith, smiling Tom Coughlin, and lame-ass Bernie Williams.

Kenny and Doc look down the barrel of a gun as they discuss the top stories of 2011, including Tim Tebow, LeBron James, and that unspeakable college football thing.0December 20, 2011

Tim Tebow Becomes First Christian To Play In NFL – Sports Year in Review

Kenny and Doc look down the barrel of a gun as they discuss the top stories of 2011, including Tim Tebow, LeBron James, and that unspeakable college football thing.

“Kenny and Doc nearly join Aaron Rodgers in his impending suicide as they argue about Mark Sanchez’s injured pussy finger and the Marlins’ stupid spending.”0December 16, 2011

Aaron Rodgers Vows To Make Season Interesting By Killing Self

“Kenny and Doc nearly join Aaron Rodgers in his impending suicide as they argue about Mark Sanchez’s injured pussy finger and the Marlins’ stupid spending.”

Kenny yells incoherently at guest host Reggie Greengrass about Eli’s temporary status as an elite quarterback and the saddest referee in the NFL.0November 14, 2011

Tom Brady, Mark Sanchez Prepare For Jets-Pats Matchup By Having Sex With Each Other

Kenny yells incoherently at guest host Reggie Greengrass about Eli’s temporary status as an elite quarterback and the saddest referee in the NFL.

This week, the Dolphins can’t shake their obsession with a waitress, Kevin Kolb tries out a more forgiving profession, and the popular sport of bead-whipping turns out to be a...0November 9, 2011

Kevin Kolb Lands New Job Where He Isn’t Booed And Tackled As Much

This week, the Dolphins can’t shake their obsession with a waitress, Kevin Kolb tries out a more forgiving profession, and the popular sport of bead-whipping turns out to be a…

It’s a spooky GOOMF and everything is backwards: Doc is Kenny, Kenny is Belichick, Tim Tebow is winning games and Blake Griffin is dunking everything in sight.0November 2, 2011

Tim Tebow Becomes First Bad Quarterback To Lead 4th Quarter Comeback

It’s a spooky GOOMF and everything is backwards: Doc is Kenny, Kenny is Belichick, Tim Tebow is winning games and Blake Griffin is dunking everything in sight.

The Get Out Of My Face guys dip into the mailbag to answer each other’s questions about Tony La Russa’s World Series sex orgies and good news on the NBA...0October 24, 2011

NBA Players, Owners Agree That Both Sides Are Selfish

The Get Out Of My Face guys dip into the mailbag to answer each other’s questions about Tony La Russa’s World Series sex orgies and good news on the NBA…

Kenny and Doc follow a delicious “Power Lunch” with their take on Nyjer Morgan’s brain centipede and Brett Favre’s jealous death wish.0October 17, 2011

Yankees, Phillies Playing Sad Little World Series Of Their Own

Kenny and Doc follow a delicious “Power Lunch” with their take on Nyjer Morgan’s brain centipede and Brett Favre’s jealous death wish.

The spittle and invectives fly as Doc and Kenny recount Sidney Crosby’s travails and the WNBA’s plan to horrifically maim their players for ratings.0October 10, 2011

Sidney Crosby Tells Telephone Pole He Has Recovered From Concussion

The spittle and invectives fly as Doc and Kenny recount Sidney Crosby’s travails and the WNBA’s plan to horrifically maim their players for ratings.

It’s time for the MLB playoffs at the GOOMF. Baseball reporter Jim Ridgeway joins the guys to get yelled at and explain that Tim Wakefield’s knuckleball is just a hoax.0October 3, 2011

Tim Wakefield Admits Knuckleball Just Fastball He Throws Very Slowly

It’s time for the MLB playoffs at the GOOMF. Baseball reporter Jim Ridgeway joins the guys to get yelled at and explain that Tim Wakefield’s knuckleball is just a hoax.

Boston fans are reacting to the monumental collapse of the Red Sox in typical fashion: buying commemorative merchandise, flooding the streets and generally acting like awful assholes.0September 30, 2011

Red Sox Sell Out Of Commemorative “Collapse 2011″ Hats, T-Shirts

Boston fans are reacting to the monumental collapse of the Red Sox in typical fashion: buying commemorative merchandise, flooding the streets and generally acting like awful assholes.

Kenny and Doc finish today’s Get Out Of My Face with a rapid-fire NFL “Gun To Your Head,” discussing Michael Vick’s dog killing history in Atlanta, Donovan McNabb’s faked death,...0September 21, 2011

Tom Brady Questionable For Sunday’s Game After Waking Up Ugly

Kenny and Doc finish today’s Get Out Of My Face with a rapid-fire NFL “Gun To Your Head,” discussing Michael Vick’s dog killing history in Atlanta, Donovan McNabb’s faked death,…

The former number one sex-haver in the world continued the longest slump of his coital career, unable to bring home a local dive bar waitress and have sex with her.0August 25, 2011

Tiger Woods Fails To Qualify For Sex With Dive Bar Waitress

The former number one sex-haver in the world continued the longest slump of his coital career, unable to bring home a local dive bar waitress and have sex with her.