Roger Federer Nearly Blows Chance At Wimbledon By Introducing Crabgrass To The Courts

Related posts:

1. Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot This week the Romney campaign introduced “Paco”, a taco-loving cartoon parrot, in hopes of appealing to Latino voters. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook:......
2. Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being “gay.”......
3. Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world’s top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the cartoon, Holy Matri-Money, here: onion.com......
4. This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower’s challenge to God. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
5. Teen’s Death Hits Reporter Hard When a community loses a teen in a drunk driving accident, it’s Onion News Network reporter O’Brady Shaw who is most emotionally devastated. (Aired 10/11/11) Subscribe to The Onion on......
6. Miami Marlins Deploy Airborne Drones to Seek Young Fans, Shoot T-Shirts At Them The Face is Off and the hate is real as Kenny and Doc discuss Bosh’s new addiction to belly rubs, the Marlin’s child-targeting, t-shirt firing drones, and NBA ref Joey......
7. Nike Releases New Olympic Track Suits Designed To Limit Penis Wind Resistance In this week’s GOOMF, Doc and Kenny pick their own poison, downing lethal doses of Dale Jr.’s new losing streak, the Heat’s Chalmers-based offense, and Nike’s tracksuit that streamlines the......
8. This Week In History: VE Day Commemorated With Historic Radio Address From FDR’s Rotting Corpse The Onion looks back at Alabama’s first desegregated mass suicide, the historic VE Day Speech from FDR’s rotting corpse, and the completion of the transcontinental railroad with the gold-plated femur......
9. Tea Party Quiet… Too Quiet The Tea Party has all but disappeared, but an expert urges us not to think they won’t be back. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on......
10. Obama’s Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself “somehow very sad.” Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow......
11. Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Shit Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary Onion News Network political analyst Jason Copeland explains Montana’s unique primary process, in which the state’s delegates are awarded to the winner of a no-holds-barred street fight. Subscribe to The......
12. Nation’s First Boombox-Carrying, Rollerskating Congressman Broke Boundaries On This Day In History, the first boombox-carrying congressman skated his way into the Capitol. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com......
13. Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer’s “Please Help” Emails Went Completely Ignored Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer’s “Please Help” Emails Went Completely Ignored Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com...
14. GOP Introduces New “Mystery Candidate” With Paper Bag Over Head Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. (Aired 11/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on......
15. Romney’s Super Tuesday Polls Surge After He Begins Flaunting His Wealth Instead of downplaying his millionaire status, Mitt Romney is now wearing fur coats and gold chains. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow......
16. Grover Norquist: ‘I Engaged In A Week-Long Drug-Fueled Orgy With Corporate Income Taxes’ President of Americans for Tax Reform Grover Norquist confirms that he carried on a 28-year salacious affair with taxes. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on......
17. Small-Town Mayor Steps Down Amid Scandal Over Forged Coupon Pennington, IL mayor Sue Hallinan resigns in shame after passing bad coupons at the local Kroger. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook:......
18. Republicans Stalling Obama’s Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion Democrats charge that Republican members of Congress are preventing the passage of the bills by moving very slowly. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion......
19. Failed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown Residents of Pennington, IL report that hot shit Jeff Statsky has returned home with his tail between his legs. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
20. Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It’s Our Turn While most Democrats plan to vote for Obama in November, they continue to tell pollsters they’re “undecided” just for the fun of messing with the president’s head. Subscribe to The......