Shoppers at a Hannaford supermarket could only speculate that a woman angrily asking for a price check on a four-ounce snack cup was once a free-spirited and easy-going youth. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
Related posts:
- Embarrassing Bounced Check From Greece Taped Up In IMF Headquarters The Vatican dispatches an elite team of bishops to sabotage contraceptive manufacturer Pfizer, an embarassing bounced check from Greece is taped up in the IMF headquarters, and Chris Kattan wonders......
- Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion......
- Man Approaching Attractive Woman Fails To Notice Chelsea Handler Book Until It’s Too Late An area man is winded after a particularly lengthy Wendy’s order, the NRA sets 1000 killed in a school shooting as the amount it would take them to reconsider much......
- Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being “gay.”......
- Teen’s Death Hits Reporter Hard When a community loses a teen in a drunk driving accident, it’s Onion News Network reporter O’Brady Shaw who is most emotionally devastated. (Aired 10/11/11) Subscribe to The Onion on......
- This Week In History: VE Day Commemorated With Historic Radio Address From FDR’s Rotting Corpse The Onion looks back at Alabama’s first desegregated mass suicide, the historic VE Day Speech from FDR’s rotting corpse, and the completion of the transcontinental railroad with the gold-plated femur......
- Obama’s Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself “somehow very sad.” Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow......
- Nation’s First Boombox-Carrying, Rollerskating Congressman Broke Boundaries On This Day In History, the first boombox-carrying congressman skated his way into the Capitol. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com......
- Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Shit Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary Onion News Network political analyst Jason Copeland explains Montana’s unique primary process, in which the state’s delegates are awarded to the winner of a no-holds-barred street fight. Subscribe to The......
- GOP Introduces New “Mystery Candidate” With Paper Bag Over Head Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. (Aired 11/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on......
- Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer’s “Please Help” Emails Went Completely Ignored Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer’s “Please Help” Emails Went Completely Ignored Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com...
- Could The Use Of Flying Death Robots Be Hurting America’s Reputation Worldwide? The First Responders debate the US military’s use of drone planes to rain fiery death upon Afghanistan from above. (Aired 10/11/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
- High Unemployment Rate Linked To One Man With 42000 Jobs A recent report finds that one man is selfishly working thousands of jobs while other Americans go without even one. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
- Failed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown Residents of Pennington, IL report that hot shit Jeff Statsky has returned home with his tail between his legs. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
- Romney’s Super Tuesday Polls Surge After He Begins Flaunting His Wealth Instead of downplaying his millionaire status, Mitt Romney is now wearing fur coats and gold chains. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow......
- Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them After an earthquake renders hundreds of dogs homeless, reporter O’Brady Shaw pledges to put down every last animal himself. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
- Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It’s Our Turn While most Democrats plan to vote for Obama in November, they continue to tell pollsters they’re “undecided” just for the fun of messing with the president’s head. Subscribe to The......
- Small-Town Mayor Steps Down Amid Scandal Over Forged Coupon Pennington, IL mayor Sue Hallinan resigns in shame after passing bad coupons at the local Kroger. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook:......
- Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy talk to an 11-year-old who had his leg gnawed off by a cool-as-hell shark. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
- Eli Manning Asks Dad If He Can Stop Playing Football Now Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It’s a special GOOMF Blast! Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com......
