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1. Teen’s Death Hits Reporter Hard When a community loses a teen in a drunk driving accident, it’s Onion News Network reporter O’Brady Shaw who is most emotionally devastated. (Aired 10/11/11) Subscribe to The Onion on......
2. Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them After an earthquake renders hundreds of dogs homeless, reporter O’Brady Shaw pledges to put down every last animal himself. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
3. Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe Investigative reporter Gavin Fisher investigates the world of Chinese counterfeit goods by donning a long robe and a black wig. (Aired 11/1/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
4. Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being “gay.”......
5. Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world’s top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the cartoon, Holy Matri-Money, here: onion.com......
6. This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower’s challenge to God. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
7. Miami Marlins Deploy Airborne Drones to Seek Young Fans, Shoot T-Shirts At Them The Face is Off and the hate is real as Kenny and Doc discuss Bosh’s new addiction to belly rubs, the Marlin’s child-targeting, t-shirt firing drones, and NBA ref Joey......
8. This Week In History: VE Day Commemorated With Historic Radio Address From FDR’s Rotting Corpse The Onion looks back at Alabama’s first desegregated mass suicide, the historic VE Day Speech from FDR’s rotting corpse, and the completion of the transcontinental railroad with the gold-plated femur......
9. Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Shit Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary Onion News Network political analyst Jason Copeland explains Montana’s unique primary process, in which the state’s delegates are awarded to the winner of a no-holds-barred street fight. Subscribe to The......
10. Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer’s “Please Help” Emails Went Completely Ignored Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer’s “Please Help” Emails Went Completely Ignored Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com...
11. Nation’s First Boombox-Carrying, Rollerskating Congressman Broke Boundaries On This Day In History, the first boombox-carrying congressman skated his way into the Capitol. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com......
12. GOP Introduces New “Mystery Candidate” With Paper Bag Over Head Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. (Aired 11/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on......
13. Obama’s Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself “somehow very sad.” Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow......
14. Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy talk to an 11-year-old who had his leg gnawed off by a cool-as-hell shark. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
15. High Unemployment Rate Linked To One Man With 42000 Jobs A recent report finds that one man is selfishly working thousands of jobs while other Americans go without even one. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
16. Failed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown Residents of Pennington, IL report that hot shit Jeff Statsky has returned home with his tail between his legs. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The......
17. Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship On The Cressbeckler Stance, Joad says any Mexican who crosses the scorching-hot desert on foot has proved himself worthy of US citizenship. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
18. Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook A troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political office due to their embarrassing Facebook posts. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like......
19. Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air Jim Haggerty helps to raise awareness about kidney stones by undergoing an operation in front of cameras. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com......
20. Grover Norquist: ‘I Engaged In A Week-Long Drug-Fueled Orgy With Corporate Income Taxes’ President of Americans for Tax Reform Grover Norquist confirms that he carried on a 28-year salacious affair with taxes. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on......